Speaking from the Heart, Baoyu Is Lost in Love; Bearing Shame, Jinchuan Dies a Heroic Death

Baoyu was overjoyed to see the kylin and reached out to take it. "How lucky you found it! Where did you pick it up?" Shi Xiangyun laughed, "Good thing it was this. If tomorrow you lost your official seal, would you just let it go?" Baoyu laughed, "Losing a seal would be nothing. If I lost this, I'd be as good as dead." Xiren poured tea for Xiangyun and said with a smile, "I heard you've had some good news, miss." Xiangyun blushed and drank her tea without answering. Xiren said, "Why be shy now? Do you remember ten years ago, when we lived in the west warm room, and you told me things at night? You weren't shy then—why now?" Xiangyun laughed, "Don't bring that up. We were so close then. But after our mistress died and I went home for a while, you were assigned to serve Second Brother. When I came back, you didn't treat me the same." Xiren laughed, "And you talk! In those days you used to call me 'elder sister' to get me to comb your hair and wash your face, to do this and that for you. Now that you're grown up, you put on airs like a real young lady. If you're going to act that way, how dare I get close to you?" Xiangyun said, "Amitabha—what a wrong! If I were like that, may I die this instant. Look, on this hot day, I came straight to see you first. Ask Cuilu—at home I never stop mentioning you." Before she finished, Xiren and Baoyu both urged, "We were just joking—you take everything so seriously. Still so impatient!" Xiangyun said, "You say I'm impatient, but your words are the ones that choke people." She opened her handkerchief and handed the rings to Xiren, who thanked her profusely. "You gave some to the other sisters the other day, and I already got one. Now you've come in person—it shows you haven't forgotten me. This proves your sincerity. The rings aren't worth much, but it's the thought that counts." Xiangyun asked, "Who gave you one?" Xiren said, "Miss Baochai." Xiangyun said, "I thought it was Cousin Lin, but it was Cousin Baochai. At home I always think none of the cousins is as good as Cousin Baochai. It's a pity we weren't born of the same mother. If I had such a sister, even without parents, I wouldn't mind." Her eyes reddened. Baoyu said, "Enough—don't talk about that." Xiangyun said, "What if I do? I know your trouble—you're afraid your Cousin Lin will hear me praising Cousin Baochai. Isn't that it?" Xiren laughed, "Miss Yun, now that you're grown, you speak even more bluntly." Baoyu said, "I told you these people are hard to talk to—and I was right." Xiangyun said, "Good brother, don't make me sick with your talk. You only say such things to us. When you see your Cousin Lin, you're a different person."

Xiren said, "Enough joking—I have a favour to ask." Xiangyun asked what it was. Xiren said, "There's a pair of shoes that need the insoles done. I've been unwell these past few days and can't do them. Would you have time to make them for me?" Xiangyun laughed, "How strange! Your house has all those clever girls—and seamstresses too—why ask me? If you ask anyone in your room to do your needlework, who would dare refuse?" Xiren laughed, "You're being silly. Don't you know that in this room we don't let those seamstresses do our needlework?" Xiangyun then realized it was for Baoyu's shoes. She laughed, "If so, I'll do it for you. But only for you—I won't do anyone else's." Xiren laughed, "Again with that! Who am I to make you do shoes? To tell the truth, they're not mine. Whoever they're for, I'll be grateful." Xiangyun said, "I've made many things for you. The reason I don't want to this time, you must know." Xiren said, "I don't." Xiangyun sneered, "The other day I heard you took the fan-case I made and compared it with someone else's, then cut it up in a huff. I heard about it long ago—don't hide it from me. Now you ask me again—I've become your servant!" Baoyu laughed, "I didn't know you made it." Xiren laughed too, "He really didn't know. I told him it was made by a clever girl outside who could do novel patterns, and asked him to try it out. He believed me and showed it around. Somehow it angered Miss Lin, who cut it in two. When he came back he wanted it redone, and only then did I tell him you had made it—he was full of regret." Xiangyun said, "How strange! Miss Lin has no reason to be angry. If she likes cutting things, let her make them." Xiren said, "She won't. Even so, the Dowager fears she'll overwork herself. The doctor says she needs quiet rest—who would ask her to work? Last year she took a whole year to make a sachet, and this year she hasn't even touched a needle."

While they spoke, someone announced, "The master from Xinglong Street is here—the master says Second Master is to go out and meet him." Baoyu knew it was Jia Yucun and was displeased. Xiren fetched his clothes. As Baoyu pulled on his boots, he grumbled, "Let the master sit with him—why must he see me every time?" Xiangyun fanned herself and laughed, "Naturally you're good at receiving guests—that's why he calls you." Baoyu said, "It's not him—it's that man who wants to see me." Xiangyun laughed, "When the host is refined, guests come often. You must have qualities that impress him." Baoyu said, "Enough—I don't claim refinement. I'm vulgar beyond vulgar, and I don't want to associate with such people." Xiangyun laughed, "You haven't changed. Now that you're older, even if you won't study for the exams, you should at least meet officials and talk about statecraft and economics, so you can handle society and make useful friends. Why spend all your time among us girls?" Baoyu said, "Please go sit with the other young ladies. I'm afraid I might sully your knowledge of statecraft." Xiren said, "Miss Yun, don't say such things. Last time Miss Baochai said the same, and he just coughed and walked off without a word, leaving her blushing with embarrassment. Luckily it was Miss Baochai—if it had been Miss Lin, who knows what a scene she'd have made. Miss Baochai is truly admirable—after a moment she went off, and later acted as if nothing had happened. She's so magnanimous. But you've grown distant from her. When Miss Lin is upset with you, you have to apologize endlessly." Baoyu said, "Has Miss Lin ever said such vulgar things? If she had, I'd have grown distant from her long ago." Xiren and Xiangyun both nodded, "Indeed, those are vulgar words."

Now Lin Daiyu, knowing Xiangyun was there and Baoyu had come running, guessed it was about the kylin. She had been thinking: lately Baoyu had read many unofficial histories, where scholars and beauties were often brought together by some small trinket—a mandarin duck, a phoenix, a jade ring, a silk handkerchief. Now that Baoyu had a kylin, she feared it might lead to something with Xiangyun. So she came quietly to see what was happening. Just as she arrived, she heard Xiangyun talking about statecraft, and Baoyu saying, "Cousin Lin never says such vulgar things—if she did, I'd have grown distant from her." Hearing this, Daiyu was both glad and startled, sad and sighing. Glad that her judgment was right—she had always considered him her true friend, and he was indeed. Startled that he praised her so openly and intimately, without concern for appearances. Sighing that if he was her true friend, she was his—then why the talk of "gold and jade"? And if there must be gold and jade, why should it be him and Baochai? Sad that her parents were gone, and though she had words engraved on her heart, no one could decide for her. Lately she felt dazed, her illness deepening; the doctor said she was weak and blood-deficient, likely to develop consumption. Though he was her true friend, she might not live long. Even if he understood her, fate was against her! Tears fell. She wanted to go in but felt awkward, so she wiped her eyes and turned away.

Baoyu, hurrying out in his clothes, saw Daiyu walking slowly ahead, as if wiping tears. He caught up and laughed, "Where are you going, cousin? Why are you crying again? Who's upset you?" Daiyu turned, saw it was Baoyu, and forced a smile, "I'm fine—I wasn't crying." Baoyu laughed, "Look—your tears aren't even dry, and you lie." He raised his hand to wipe her tears. Daiyu stepped back, "Are you crazy? Why are you so touchy?" Baoyu laughed, "I forgot myself in speaking, and moved without thinking—I don't care if I die." Daiyu said, "Your death is nothing, but what about your 'gold' and your 'kylin'?" Baoyu grew anxious, "Why do you say that? Are you cursing me or making me angry?" Daiyu, remembering the other day, regretted speaking rashly, and laughed, "Don't be upset—I was wrong. What's the matter? Your veins are popping, your face is all sweaty." She reached out and wiped his brow. Baoyu gazed at her for a long time, then said, "Just set your mind at ease." Daiyu was stunned, then said, "What is there for me to be uneasy about? I don't understand. Tell me—what do you mean by 'set your mind at ease'?" Baoyu sighed, "Do you truly not understand? Have I wasted all my feeling for you? If I can't even understand your heart, no wonder you're angry with me every day." Daiyu said, "I really don't understand." Baoyu nodded, "Don't fool me, dear cousin. If you truly don't understand, then all my feelings have been wasted, and I've failed yours. Your illness comes from worry. If you could be more at ease, your illness wouldn't grow worse day by day." These words struck Daiyu like thunder. She felt they were more sincere than words from her own heart. She had a thousand things to say, but couldn't speak a word; she just stared at him. Baoyu also had a thousand things to say, not knowing where to begin, and stared back at her. After a long pause, Daiyu coughed, tears falling, and turned to go. Baoyu grabbed her, "Dear cousin, wait—let me say one thing." Daiyu wiped her tears and pushed his hand away, "What is there to say? I already know your feelings." She walked off without looking back.

Baoyu stood there in a daze. He had been in such a hurry he hadn't brought his fan. Xiren, fearing the heat, brought it to him. She saw Daiyu and Baoyu standing together; when Daiyu left and Baoyu still stood motionless, she came up, "You didn't take your fan—luckily I saw and brought it." Baoyu, in a trance, didn't realize who was speaking to him. He took her hand and said, "Dear cousin, I've never dared to speak my heart, but today I'll say it—even if I die! I've made myself ill for you, but I dare not tell anyone. I can only hide it. When your illness is better, perhaps mine will be too. In dreams I never forget you!" Xiren was terrified. "Heavens! You'll be the death of me!" She pushed him, "What are you saying? Have you gone mad? Hurry up!" Baoyu then realized it was Xiren with the fan. He blushed purple, snatched the fan, and ran off.

Xiren, left behind, thought over what he had said. It must have been about Daiyu. This could lead to trouble—it was alarming. She grew thoughtful, tears falling, wondering how to prevent such a scandal. Just then Baochai came over, "What are you staring at in this scorching sun?" Xiren smiled, "Two birds fighting—it was amusing." Baochai said, "Where was Brother Bao going in such a hurry just now? I saw him pass and wanted to stop him, but he seemed so distracted. I let him go." Xiren said, "His father called him out." Baochai said, "Oh! In this heat! He must be in trouble again." Xiren said, "No—I think there's a guest." Baochai said, "What a tiresome guest—running about in this heat!" Xiren laughed, "You said it."

Baochai asked, "What's Xiangyun doing with you?" Xiren said, "We chatted a little. Those shoes I was mending—I'll have her make them tomorrow." Baochai looked around to see if anyone was near, then smiled, "You're so clever—how can you be so thoughtless? I've noticed Xiangyun's manner lately, and from what I hear, she has no say at home. They're trying to save money, so they don't use seamstresses—her mother and she do most things themselves. When she talks to me, if no one's around, she complains of being tired. When I ask about her daily life, her eyes redden and she speaks vaguely. It's the hardship of being orphaned. Seeing her, I can't help but feel sad." Xiren clapped her hands, "So that's it! No wonder when I asked her to make ten butterfly knots last month, it took her so long, and she said they were rough and would do for now—she'd make better ones when she came to stay. If I'd known, I wouldn't have asked." Baochai said, "Last time she told me she works till the third watch at home. If she does a little for others, those ladies grumble." Xiren said, "And our stubborn young master won't let those seamstresses make anything. I can't do it all." Baochai laughed, "Ignore him—just have them made and say you did it." Xiren said, "He'd know—he can tell. I'll have to do it slowly." Baochai said, "Don't worry—I'll do some for you." Xiren said, "Really? That would be a blessing. I'll bring them tonight."

Before she finished, an old woman came hurrying, "What a thing! Miss Jinchuan has drowned herself!" Xiren was startled, "Which Jinchuan?" The woman said, "There's only one—in the lady's room. The other day she was sent out for some reason. At home she wept and wailed, but no one paid attention. Now they've found her in the well at the southeast corner. They tried to revive her, but it was too late." Baochai said, "How strange!" Xiren sighed, thinking of their old friendship, and wept. Baochai went to comfort Lady Wang.

At Lady Wang's quarters, all was silent. Lady Wang sat in the inner room weeping. Baochai sat down beside her. Lady Wang asked, "Where have you been?" "From the garden." "Did you see Baoyu?" "I saw him going out in his clothes." Lady Wang nodded tearfully, "Do you know the strange news? Jinchuan drowned herself." Baochai said, "Why would she do that?" Lady Wang said, "The other day she broke something of mine, and in anger I hit her and sent her out. I meant to call her back in a couple of days, but she was so hot-tempered she drowned herself. It's my fault." Baochai sighed, "You're too kind, Aunt, to think that way. In my opinion, she didn't drown herself in a fit of pique. Perhaps she was playing by the well and fell in. Used to being confined, she was out enjoying herself—it was an accident. Even if she was angry, she was a fool, and not worth regretting." Lady Wang nodded, "Even so, I feel uneasy." Baochai said, "Don't dwell on it. If you feel badly, give her family extra silver for the funeral—that's enough." Lady Wang said, "I gave her mother fifty taels. I wanted to give two of your cousins' new clothes for her shroud, but Xifeng said there were no new ones, only Miss Lin's birthday clothes. Miss Lin is sensitive and often ill—to give them for burial would be inauspicious. So I'm having the tailor rush two sets. For other maids, a few taels would do, but Jinchuan was like a daughter to me." She wept again. Baochai said, "Why rush the tailor? I had two sets made the other day—I'll bring them. She's worn my old clothes before, and we're about the same size." Lady Wang said, "But won't you be superstitious about it?" Baochai said, "Don't worry—I never bother with such things." She rose and left. Lady Wang sent two maids with her.

Soon Baochai returned with the clothes. Baoyu was sitting beside Lady Wang, weeping. She had been scolding him but stopped when Baochai came. Baochai, observing the scene, understood most of it. She handed over the clothes, and Lady Wang called Jinchuan's mother to take them. To know what follows, read the next chapter.